Blog

A MOTHER’S WORST NIGHTMARE

June 19, 2017 | Uncategorized

The statistics for suicide are high.

2nd leading cause of death among children and young adults aged 10 to 24

There are 1 million suicides worldwide every year

22 veterans commit suicide every day

One person dies by suicide every 40 seconds somewhere in the world

Brain diseases, such as bipolar and depression can play a huge roll in suicide.  Depression and Suicide are an epidemic around the world. The first line of defense is early detection. When anyone sees kids drinking and drugging in school, it might indicate there is a serious problem. My son, Forrest, self medicated. Who knows what would have happened if we had known he was on drugs. I don’t want that to happen to another child or adult. People have to learn that help is available. There are solutions to these problems. More has been learned about brain diseases in the last 15 years that there was learned in the previous 200 . Researchers are learning more every day.

I lost my son, Arthur Forrest Tull, to suicide on March 11, 1995. It is still difficult for me to say that word. SUICIDE!!! It was the darkest day of my life.  A Mother’s worst nightmare because a reality for me. I didn’t think I would ever adjust to my new existence. ‘One without Forrest.’ The ensuing days were dark and empty. I didn’t think I could  go on but I had to. I have adjusted to him leaving but the chair will always be empty. I cherish the day he was born not the day he left. It took a very long time for me to accept his leaving. This describes my state of mind when my son left…. THERE IS A WAR TAKING PLACE AND A PILOT IS ON A MISSION TO BOMB. HIS PLANE IS HIT. HE IS FORTUNATE TO PARACHUTE OUT AND REACHES THE GROUND WHILE BOMBS ARE FALLING IN THE DISTANT. HE IS IN UNKNOWN TERRITORY AND FEELS THE DANGER AROUND HIM. HE FINDS AN AREA THAT IS COVERED AND SAFE SO HE CAN HIDE UNTIL HIS PLAN OF ESCAPE IS FORMULATED.

I had to hide after Forrest left until I could find an escape route. I didn’t know what that would be. It  took me a long time but it slowly unfolded. To me, life had bombs going off and the field was full of land mines waiting to go off as soon as I touched them. I had to stay in a safe place and just creep a little distance day by day. Slowly, the land mines dissolved so I was able to go a longer and safer distance. That’s how it was when I started my journey. Now, there are no land mines. I can feel safe walking on the soft green grass and you can too.

I have written a book, “Never Saying Goodbye, A Life Changing Road to Acceptance and Joy After The Loss of a Loved One.” It chronicles my journey of how I ultimately found peace and joy. I found out that it is hard but it is possible. It tells of my despair and my healing. I wrote my book to give hope to people that they can survive. They are healing. My book gives concrete tools on how to heal. We must heal.  I know those of you have experienced this tragedy recently have such sorrow in your hearts, that recovery does not seem possible. Believe me, it is! My son changed from physical son to spiritual son. He resides in my heart.

The sun is there to shine on all of us. It doesn’t pick just a few and say, “This is only for you .”

Leave a Reply

Purchase Never Saying GoodBye

Buy Now